Doing hard time

Learning a language is like doing hard time. Why? Because it's really hard and it takes a long time. In fact, it's so hard that I often avoid studying it all together. I mean, who wants to do hard time? I never read. I don't listen. I certainly don't write. And I don't even want to think about talking to someone in a foreign language. I get all nervous and tense and my brow beads up with sweat. I look around for the nearest exit whenever I enter a room so that I can make a quick getaway in case I find myself in a situation where somebody has been tipped off that I speak the local language. Oh yeah... I run, but I can't hide. When foreign words are flying at me, I dodge 'em like bullets. I quickly push the escape button on my emergency wrist-band and I am outta there!

言語学びはおつとめのようです。なぜというと、難しくて長い時間がかかるよ。実は、そんなに難しいからよく勉強をさぼります。誰がお勤めたいかな。私はぜ んぜん読みません。ぜんぜん聞きません。もちろん書きません。誰かと外国語で話すことなんて考えたくない。緊張して、ひたいが汗の玉だらけになります。も し誰か私がローカル言語を話せるかお知りになったら、逃げるため、部屋に入ると出口を探します。そうですよね。逃げても、隠れられない。外国語の言葉が飛 び出したら、銃弾が来ると同じようにひらりと身をかわす。すぐに非常の時のそで口の脱出ボタンを押すとお逃げになります。

*This Japanese article has not been checked for errors which it is sure to be full of.
Vox21.mp3